DATE: Jun-17-2007 / MOOD: Disapointed
Learn these lessons and avoid embarassments
Corporate LESSON NO 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower  when the doorbell rings.
After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and
answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door
neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says "I'll give you 800 dollars to drop that towel that you have on
" After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and
stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves.
Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman
wraps back up in
the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets back to the bathroom,her husband asks from the
shower "Who
was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor" she replies.
Great, the husband says, "Did he say anything about the 800
dollars he owes
me?"
Moral Of The Story: If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be
in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
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CORPORATE LESSON 2
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the
road, he
stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open
and reveal a
lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an
accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up
her leg.
The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father,
remember psalm 129?"
The priest was flustered and apologized profusely.
He forced himself to remove his hand, however he was unable
to remove
his eyes from her leg.
Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her
leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"
Once again the priest apologized.
"Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a
meaningful glance
and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve
a bible and
looked up psalm 129.
It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
glory."
Moral Of The Story: Always be well informed in your job, or
you might miss a great opportunity!
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CORPORATE LESSON 3
Usually the staff of the company play football.
The middle level managers are more interested in Tennis.
The top management usually has a preference for Golf.
Moral Of The Story: As you go up the corporate ladder, the
balls reduce
in size.
Another good lesson!!
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CORPORATE LESSON 4
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are
walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll
give each of
you just one.
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk.
"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a
care in
the world."
*Poof!*She's gone.
In astonishment "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. I
want to be in
Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
endless
supply of pina-coladas and the love of my life."
*Poof!* He's gone.
"OK, you're up" the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says "I want those two back in the office after
lunch."
Moral Of The Story: always let your boss have the first say
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DATE: Jun-09-2007 / MOOD: Other
Denis Leary Interview with Men's Journal Magazine july 2007
Q: What's the Best Advice you Ever Received? A: The harder I work, the luckier I get. My father told me that. And don't eat the yellow snow. That has practical applications.
Q. What's the Best Cure for a hangover? A: Don't drink. Scientific studies have proven that.
Q: What's the best cure for heartache? A: Chocolate cake.
Q. What Commandment do you break most often? A: Taking the lord's name in vain. do that hundreds of thousands of times a day. But I think he should look at the bright side. I'm taking the time to mention him.
Q. What Skill should every man have? A: A sense of humor. Some patience. The ability to listen. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. I have the skills, but sometimes I misplace them.
Q. The Most Cherished possession you ever lost? A: I just lost my dog Clancy. He was a gigantic Irish Wolfhound. I had him for eight years. They only live about that long. He got a sinus infection and in two days he was gone. I thought he would be the exception, that he would just keep living. It has been hard to get over. I am not okay. I'm not even close.
Q. What would you do in order to survive? A: I'm the kind of guy who needs to eat every four hours. If I went down in a plane crash I'd wait four hours and kill somebody. Believe me, if it's edible I'm going to kill it. Clancy used to look at me while I was eating a sandwich, and I'd just know he was thinking he could kill me at any moment. And he could have. He was huge. He'd eat me if I died in the house. He'd probably think, "I like this guy, but he sure is tasty."
Q: Who is the toughest guy you know? A: Cam Neely, who played for the Boston Bruins. I've seen him get hit in the face with a puck and not blink an eye.
Q: What one thing should every man know about women? _ A: You have to keep your ears and eyes open. You gotta be locked in. Men forget. Because we have emotional ADD. Quite frankly, we don't like to be told what to do, to be given the map. With life. Taxes. Driving. Sex. We don't want to be instructed. But that's what we need most of the time. Because we tend to be morons.
I swear next time I'm just gonna copy and paste articles, that took way too long to type out-Wrongron
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